Friendship

I have to wonder if there is any such thing as a real friend. By real friend I mean one that will always be there no matter what. One that doesn’t want anything in return but friendship. That’s the kind of friend I try to be. I try to be honest and not hurt people.

I lost a friend this weekend, not to death, although it feels that way some moments, but to a falling out, perhaps it was just something stupid. I don’t really know. But I don’t seem to keep friends, not when my illnesses flair up and send me mentally messy. Friends don’t seem to understand and I don’t understand that.

When my friends are sad, or hurt I try to be there, try and listen, but when I try and open up, need something, which isn’t that often because I find it hard to give myself to a friend that way, they walk away. I’m not really sure my heart can trust or take a chance on another friend.

Maybe this is just another legacy from my parents and the way I have to deal with life now. I wish my parents could have given me normal, then I too could be normal.

Related articles

• Done. (neondrama.wordpress.com)